MY DANFO CHRONICLES

Hi guys,

I know I’ve been away for some time, but God willing, I’m back, again!

So here’s the ish, I realised that my writing block clears when I have depressing episodes and I need to let stuff out, but then I think, what if something I have to say can help someone or cheer them up even if it’s just for the day even when I am not in the mood to say much? So from now, I do solemnly swear to try putting out more so we can be weird together.

I recently started a nine to five at a super cool media house/tv station and only because my Range Rover’s delivery is being delayed, I have had to use public transport to get to work, and I must say it has been an unforgettable experience. Do you realise the tension when entering public transport on your way to a friend’s place is quite different from what you feel on your way to work. It’s just different. I can’t really put it into words, but the experience is just about the same.

Anyhoo, so my chronicles might bore you, but enjoy them either way!

PLEASE SHIFT GANG.

Err, why don’t you shift instead!!!!!! How annoying can you be? Can you not see that there is no space? And these gang members, they don’t ask nicely yeah. They just shuffle their butts into you like they want to cause you bodily harm on purpose. Then there’s the ones that never sit right in the bus. They are either leaning into you or fearlessly on you.Their feet are always shuffling, they are the advocators of the shifting gang, they are the ones that will sit beside the window and never open it because “the breeze is too much” *insert eyeroll*. I can go on and on……..

THE NAIL

The nail is there, waiting for you, or rather your dress\shirt, waiting to show you what it’s made for. Check well is all I will say because if you don’t, and you meet the nail, all you will get is “ehyah” ” ah sorry sister” and you find yourself left with having to explain your predicament to everybody, and trust me, everybody will ask!!!!

THE LOUD MOUTHED DRIVER\CONDUCTOR

They are always angry. They never give you your change even when they have it. If u ask for it too frequently, you get quality insults, same if you caution their lousy driving and conducting. I try to be civil on most days, but once I find a lead, that passenger that is their match and can talk them down just as rudely, I tend to chip a few unladylike words too (forgive me for venting), I mean after all, it is a DANFO!!!

Don’t even get me started on the smelling conductor. Urghhh and they are usually the ones that don’t sit when the bus is full and are content to hang on to the doors like toilet paper. Just pray they don’t see LASTMA , they immediately become your human shield just to close the rusty door, standing over you like the results of the US Elections, like OMG, could you be any more disgusting!!!! Someone kill me now!!! I pray you never find yourself in this position…too often!

Moving by Public transport should normally not be as stressful as it is, but the present reality that we are in, yes the one that requires us to fly like monkeys into buses to secure a seat and allows a driver lie to us about the bus stop he intends to ACTUALLY stop, has made it an early morning nightmare. There’s more categories to this stereotype but I don’t want to bore or scare you, as the case may be so, yeah, while I can’t say I look forward to boarding another DANFO, money must be made and I have a job to get to, as I’m hoping you do too, so suit up guys, let’s do this!

Goes without saying that this post does not exactly apply to the ‘My CAR’ gang. *sideeye*

Eko o ni baje o!!!