MY DANFO CHRONICLES II

Oi fam, what’s good?!

So like I said before, new job, new route, new set of Danfos, not that they aren’t all the same though.

You must be wondering why I write about my experiences in the bus, well here are some reasons:

1. I almost always seem to have an experience, fictional or otherwise.
2. I do it for the culture. Yassss!!!!
3. Every time I want to close my eyes, become a Ninja Turtle , a ThunderCat or a member of the Justice League, I choose the way of peace and decide to vent here instead.

That answers that, yes? Yes.

Ever been in a bus and wondered what you must have done to offend someone so badly that they invoked some spiritual insalubrious bugaboo to make your afternoon so stressful? If they’re not rough, they’re rude,slow or just plain silly. Who, you ask?

NIGERIAN DANFO DRIVERS – For these chronicles, I have to type like a typical Yoruba girl. Na how the story go sweet well well be dat!

The Rough and Rude Ones: These ones care for nothing: Age, Gender, Fake Accents. They are just rude and drive rough. God forbid you caution them, na insult. The bus must be full ni sha. Every bus stop is a hit back to back.

The Dull and Stupid Ones: These ones are plagued with stupidity and no back-up of a smart mouth of sorts. They are just dull and usually get talked down by the passengers and in recent times, even their own conductors. These ones understand that there are other people by the road waiting to find a bus to board. Not every time, full bus!

The Stingy Ones: Pay agbero, you no gree. Every time na ‘When I come back‘. Park your bus for house, lai lai. Pick a struggle bruv. Ordinary to carry a passenger at a cheaper rate, especially those ‘mamas’ that can like to form ‘agbalagba ni mi’ vibes. The Huncle will not gree. Why so hangry though?

The Ones that don’t know road: Rare but real. They are usually deathly quiet and turning in circles until by a stroke of magic, revelation comes! They are always passing the road less travelled and in Lagos, that is not a good thing!!!

The Stunt drivers: GRAND THEFT AUTO niyen. Mitsubishi Ferrari!! Sha don’t kill us. Funny how when they jam big man car na begging immediately!!! They no dey get chest when them jam trouble. Rubbish upon Nonsense!

Foodie Gang: Chop before them commot, chop at every bus stop, chop at night, chop in the dream, chop on the road, always buying gala and face towel. You go don know them abi?

Tunmise, buy a car already!

See ya!