My Doctor called me a hoe!

Hello

It always seems as if I’m writing rebound posts about being away for ever and being certain that THIS is the ultimate comeback!!! See what I did there….. 😂😂😂

Now I don’t know what to write

My block just cleared and I had a five second adrenaline rush that led me to input my username and password.

Okay let me talk about my visit to the hospital yesterday

Oh and by the way, I may be really sick. Fingers crossed, I’m not and it’s just my paranoia but I won’t lie to you, I am worried and scared so yeah.

So after many many drugs and injections, I went back to the hospital to tell the doctor that the symptoms had gotten worse. I didn’t meet with the first and very handsome, if I might add, Doctor that diagnosed me as per consultancy shuffle. I wish I hadn’t been shuffled though. Save the fact that that Doki yen fine gan, the one I met with gave me paracetamol. I know!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay so I sit in front of the dude and he’s just reading and scribbling into my file like someone in a class where the teacher is dictating notes. I shift my legs trying to get his attention and luckily for my future, he looks up.

“Sorry madam” and looks back down.

Ah ahn rada rada!!! The temerity!

He finally looks up and asks “So how can I help you?”

I tell him the drugs and injections from the first consultancy didn’t work and I’d like a referral to a government hospital— I use an HMO (Health insurance) hence the private hospital and hence the incompetence and hence the paracetamol…

He asks a few more questions and I answer and then he makes a statement I won’t forget in a while

“Well this thing could be coming back because you keep doing what you keep doing”

Errrr… I’m lost. “Do you mean like a certain type of food?”

“This thing can either be caused by an STI or a toilet infection madam”

I was gonna ask “So I should stop using the same toilet?” but I knew what he meant.

Suffice to say, I was livid.

“I’m not sexually active” I reply curtly. I wanted to slap him right across the face in that moment

“Are you sure?”

Oh wow! The look I gave him answered his question

“Okay lets try a prognomic approach” – I checked. There’s no English word like that (ki le leyin so?)

“What next?” I was getting impatient

“You’ll take another test and if the results are the same as the last time, I’ll refer you”

“You’ll refer me either way Doctor” and I get up. I was done with this session

He looks up and is wise enough not to reply. Hands me a note indicating the test to be done and the drugs to be administered. I swear if I had seen what they were, I wouldn’t have gone to the pharmacy, I would have just done the test and gone home. I blame the legendary Doctor handwriting

I do the test and go get the drugs, which are a heap by the way. I get home and decide to check one-third of the pharmacy’s content they gave me and I can only open my mouth

Paracetamol like 100 pills

Flagyl

Vitamin-C

Ampiclox (which was the only reasonable thing there in my opinion)

Okay I’m no doctor but those are not the drugs I should be using

The first set of drugs I used were more specific. Are these ones using me to test the contents of a first aid box ni?

Oh well. I’m going on Saturday to get my results and my referral

The drugs are at home

I’m not taking them

Hopefully, I won’t have to take anything and this thing will go away. Let’s not worry. If you’re reading this, just say a prayer for me.

Thank You!